Sunday, November 29, 2009

Party report

Put hairs on rollers, glued on fake lashes, made myself look generally fabulous.
Went out of the house. It started raining. Waited for the bus for a long time. Hair went back to natural frizzy curls. Eyes started to feel a bit gluey. On the bus noticed a strong smell of worcestershire sauce. Also noticed brown puddle around my bag. Bloody Mary ingredients were leaking. Checked bag, found that my right party shoe was fine, but the left one marinated. Got distracted by this until my bus stop was announced suddenly. Jumped off bus, found it was a lie, I was nowhere near my destination. Got rained on some more. Consulted map. Map had run to blurriness in the rain. Considered going back home. Tried to work out where I was with runny map and no glasses. Phoned for help and was rescued. Arrived at party, checked eyelashes. Right one was fine, left one drooped off as I was watching in the mirror. Was left with runny make-up and frizzy hair, looking generally more deranged than glam.
Put shoes in the bath tub, mixed a Bloody Mary, sat around for a while wondering what went wrong where.

Then had a nice evening.

Tomorrow shall rub right party shoe with worcestershire sauce to make them match again.


Swati said...

Awww, what a bummer, after all the trouble you took. But I am sure you looked good anyway. Also glad to see your sense of humour. The last sentence had me in splits! Would make a great illustrated book, don't you think?

Dave Shelton said...


And well done for still having a good time.

Any photographic evidence of you pre and post-ran damage?

Dave Shelton said...


"... pre and post rain damage", I mean.

Viviane Schwarz said...

Thanks! The looking-like-dragged-through-hedge-wearing-bedsheet-in-a-room-full-of-nice-men-in-suits aspect was kind of cathartic. Started like one of my nightmares and then ended up being fun.

No photographs of antediluvian outfit, you'll just have to believe me I'm afraid. Some records exist of the rest of the evening, but I haven't seen them.

I shall attempt the hair-setting again, it really was rather fun. Not the lashes though, I think. Not worth the lack of glasses.

Hmmm, A story about a party outfit gone wrong might actually be nice...