I spent some time over the last week recording songs into my computer, just for fun, and because I want to get over being scared of being recorded. I am deeply convinced that I am a very silly-looking and silly-sounding person, mostly because, well, people say so, actually. I don't know how often someone has told me that I "could have a beautiful voice if I wanted", as if they sell them by the pound in paper bags somewhere.
Anyway, so I've been listening to myself singing, because that seems less stressful than talking. And I can tell you by now that I am no good at it, but that it does sound funny. - I used to be sad that people kept laughing at me all the time, and I imagined being serious, one of these beautiful respectable serious people that everybody falls in love with, and I'd be all prosperous and such. And that if I were just serious enough people would walk up to me and say: "Viv, have lots of love and money because I cannot help but give all I can to such a deeply sincere and respectable individual as yourself." But, you know, the other day I pictured this scene and it suddenly struck me that it was a deeply silly thought.
So now I shall get back to doing something more constructive - drawing hamsters with tea-cups on their heads, in fact. Which is a job I am very much qualified for.
What on earth would I be doing if I were a serious person?